Tales and More Tales of Beyonder

by Stephen Morris
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This book is a collection of articles originally appearing in a variety of Vermont newspapers. Stephen Morris is an indefatigable chronicler of life in Beyonder, and this is his best work. His offerings on Mud Season and Vermont Holidays is particularly memorable.

Tales and More Tales of Beyonder is part three of "Stories and Tunes," Stephen Morris's "four-part" trilogy of life in the rural North.

contents: Tales and More Tales of Beyonder

by Stephen Morris
Introduction8
 
Part 1 – The Fall12
     The Amnesty Minute13
     Enlightening Thunder Road15
     Brilliant Ideas18
     Less is Less20
     Plenty O' Nuthin'23
     Chuck 'n Jive26
     Still Don't Get It29
     The Writer's Conference32
     The Wonder of Bread35
     Are Wood Guys Good Guys?39
 
Part 2 – The Bleak42
     As the Cluster Flies43
     Kidztuf46
     Teenspeak49
     And in this Corner52
     Man Versus Mouse55
     Bringing Back the Beard57
     Buck Fever59
     The Local News61
     The Airlines Revenge Kit64
     Pieces of Wood67
     My Career in Show Biz (Hi Jim!)74
     Last Flight77
     Lamson's Bus79
 
Part 3 – The Endless82
     Thawed Thoughts83
     The Erotic Car Wash86
     Man Versus Machine89
     Fifty Crummy Bands92
     Joining Other Odd Ducks95
     A Tribute to Del97
     Local Hopeful100
     Perfectly Normal103
     That's Not Funny106
     A Language Lament (Sorry, Lapeoplet)108
     Ootisms111
     Moments to Forget114
 
Part 4 – The Mud118
     Sugarin'119
     The Zen of Mud122
     Mud Season Romance125
     Ironing My Shirts127
     All Aboard130
     City Versus Country133
     The Eco-curmudgeon136
     Beeping Watches139
     The Funniest Guy in Beyonder141
     Delusions of Grandeur144
     Fog for Brains147
     Clixed-up Michés150
     The Master Speaks153
 
Part 5 – The Kaboom156
     Technowlogee157
     Instant On160
     Recycling Made a Slob Outta Me163
     Horsepower or/ Horse Manure166
     The Joy of Gardening169
     Sports Dad172
     Dreams at Bat175
     On the Firing Line178
     Fenway by the Numbers181
     Babe Ruth and the Turkeys184
     Lose Your Lawn187
     Walk, Don't Run190
     Match-up With Mellowness193
 
Part 6 – The Beginning (of the end)196
     The Dumpster Cooks197
     Dumpster Dogs200
     Long Live the Swim Hole203
     H2O 'N U205
     Don't Make Waves207
     Those Darn New Yorkers210
     Those Loveable Lampreys213
     The Moments of Summer216
     Memories of Mercedes219
     The Drive-In230
     Burner or Toaster?232
     Cruise Control235
     Glub is All You Need237
     Still Champions239
 
Epilog – The Ritual242
     Gilead Pig Roast243
Lamson's Bus

The yellow school bus is as much a part of the rural landscape as the red barn or the hay silo. Sometimes we forget about the precious cargo.

I've never met Lamson. I don't even know his first name (or is "Lamson" his first name?), but for the past eight years I have entrusted him, twice a day, with the safety of my children. Lamson is the bus driver who has the route that extends to the far reaches of our hamlet. Although less than ten miles between here and the school, it is a forty-five minute bus route that takes place almost entirely on unpaved, hilly back roads. The route passes dairy farms, rushing brooks, sugar bushes—the best of Beyonder. But to experience it, one must brave the nether side of Vermont's scenic roads—mud, washboard, and ice.

What is a "Four-Part Trilogy?"

Next up from The Public Press: the first three books, revised and improved, in Stephen Morris's Vermont epic, the four part trilogy.

books in the Four-part Trilogy

Life has a way of interfering with art. Beyond Yonder, The King of Vermont, and Darwin and the Tunnel of Love were always intended by the author to be a single work, telling the epic story of the daily lives and times of the inhabitants of the tiny hamlet of Upper Granville, Vermont.

But life intervenes. It happens! Day jobs take priority. Parents grow old. Little publishers sell to big publishers. Editors move on to different jobs. Opportunities knock. Kids leave home. It happens! It happens! And it happens!

As a result, the epic novel came out in fits and spurts. First, Beyond Yonder. That's when the publisher got sold. Then, King of Vermont, that's when the editor quit. Meanwhile, a real life equivalent to Upper Granville began appearing on the pages of the Vermont Sunday Magazine. Now, the region had a name, Beyonder, to describe that part of Vermont that is next to nothing, but not far away from anywhere. Tales and More Tails is a collection of Beyonder's "Stories and Tunes."

The Public Press is pleased to present Beyonder in its original glory – ficticious and non-ficticious. This is the Director's cut, digitally remastered, and in full Dolby sound. This is Beyonder at the peak of foliage, at the depth of Mud Season despair, in the procreational frenzy of the vernal kaboom, and in the enveloping eternity of an August night watching the meteors shower in a part of the world where you can actually still see them.

The four books in Stephen Morris
In Beyonder, 4 books make 1 trilogy
Stephen Morris
interview with publisher and author Stephen Morris
cover: Beyond Yonder by Stephen Morris
Beyond Yonder
by Stephen Morris
cover: King of Vermont by Stephen Morris
King of Vermont
by Stephen Morris
cover: Tales and More Tails by Stephen Morris
Tales & More Tales
by Stephen Morris
cover: Tunnel of Love by Stephen Morris
Tunnel of Love
by Stephen Morris

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